Thai people find us confusing. (It's mutual.) On my first long trip to Thailand, I spent a number of evenings chatting in English with a small group of Buddhist monks at Wat Phra Singh, one of Chiang Mai's most important temples. After many hours of polite inquiries on both sides about daily life, one of the monks finally shared with me why they found me so interesting. He said, "We love to watching you talk." Watch me talk, hmmm.... He added, "You move your face a lot. We think it funny." Indeed.
After a few more visits to Thailand and a few years living here, I now understand fully what he was getting at. Thai people do not emote. Not entirely true. They emote in a limited range. Happy is good. Anything else, pretty much bad. So, in Thai language there seems to be no word for "sad." Just "not happy."
Having been married for five years to a Thai man and lived with some of his family for long stretches, I can tell you the gap in emotional expression is Grand Canyon-esque. So, when you are frustrated, it translates, "not happy." Disappointed, "not happy." In mourning, "not happy." A little blue, "not happy." I beat the dead horse.
The positive side of this emotional state is that traveling in Thailand is unlike any other place you are likely to go. You meet smiles everywhere you go (note the Little Man's smiling grandparents above). No one will try to fleece you (except the occasional Bangkok taxi driver, but hell, that's Bangkok). Haggling at the market is all done in good humor. And, complete strangers will want to talk with you at length about where you are going and what you are doing. (Oh, yes... the notion of privacy is also a foreign one here.)
Be advised. Don't lose your cool. There are tons of expressions in Thai language for keeping cool. "Jai yen" (cold heart - actually a good thing). "Ar lom dee" (relax). "Mai kitmak" (don't stress). And, the ubiquitous "mai pen rai" (no big deal, or you're welcome, or no problem, or nevermind).
I once witnessed a Western guy dressing down a bank teller for some ridiculous banking error, and the entire staff just turned to placid, indifferent statues. I left. It was turning my stomach, actually. He likely went on and on. They likely waited him out.
What a country! You couldn't pick a fight here, if you wanted to. And, why would you want to? "Mai pen rai!"
1 comment:
Soooo well observed and explained. The funny thing is that there ARE words for sad and nervous and excited etc, but 95% of Thai people don't know them, or simply can't see why you'd need to know that they're feeling something. Seems you have to be hi-so and well educated to emote or to express it.
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