Oh, Fat Baby

This is what Thai people will say to you about your baby - Oh, very ugly. Big nose like his mother. And, fat!

My husband translates the intension as much as the meaning of these remarks, which we get from every shopkeeper, fellow passenger in the truck taxi, and pedestrian within shouting distance on any street in the city. Basically, every man, woman and child who can see and speak.

First - very ugly. Thai people don’t believe in praising a baby. They want him to go unnoticed, and they give their children inconsequential nicknames like Pet (duck), Gai (chicken), or Taan (bee). All this to keep a Thai ghost from stealing your little child away from you. In a place where a doctor can still be a very long motorbike ride away, this thinking is understandable.

Big nose. This is a compliment. I, apparently, have a big nose. My husband, whose nose occupies some major face real estate, does not. Big really means long. Western long noses are good, and Thai wide noses are bad. We went round and round on this one until I finally got it. My baby has a big nose, just like his mother.

Fat. Again, a compliment. Babies in ads here are monstrously fat. Fat is good in a place where food can be scarce. Amnat’s sister Nok (Bird, actually) was three months old when their mom went back to work in the village ruby mine. Her milk dried up, so my mother-in-law fed Nok the boiling water from white rice with a little sugar added. Needless to say, there was no milk money. Amnat’s mom has told me this story several times to convince me to eat more rice. As you might guess, Nok is the least robust of Ni’s three surviving children. So, my fat baby is a joy.

Apart from the usual comments about a Thai baby, we get the additional standardized list about Thai-Farang (foreign) babies. Basically, Thai people search for and praise the white features of our son. Big nose, small mouth (sadly, as my husband has the most beautiful lip line), and most importantly light skin. Every skin care product here, for women and men, includes whiteners. White equals beauty. Poor people often rub plain old talcum powder on the faces, giving them a mortuary palor in full sun light. And, babies get basted across the face with a handful of powder daily. You can usually see the finger streaks, it’s that thick.


My husband habitually apologizes for his rich, dark coloring, which is so lovely. For Amnat, think espresso, for me whole milk, and for Jimmy a pleasing latte, light enough to elicit praise (sorry, continuing coffee obsession).

Having never been a mum among Americans, I have no idea what comments will come when we move back home, or if they will be so constant and predictable. I suspect that we, as a people, hold back a little more. But Thai people are known for their kind hearts, quick smiles, and deep love of children.

So, I and my ugly, fat, white baby roll happily around the city of Chiang Mai under a halo of bald stares and appreciative smiles.