Signage Carnage

Now here's a guest house sure to prosper in the current depressed tourism market.

Brilliant, really. Stay home. It's cheaper than even your $5-a-night guest house.

Progress

As you know, Little and I are in the habit of perambulating within the walls of our fair moated city on a daily basis. The little stroller has gone from portable bed (for a sleepy newborn) to barcolounger on wheels from which he can survey his kingdom and his people. And, survey he does, spinning his little head left and right and craning his neck around to catch all the details. The kingdom is so damned interesting that you've just got to lean forward and hold onto the rail to urge the rolling barcolounger (and the servant who's pushing it) on.


As you also know, the coffee shop is a favorite destination for the little prince and me. From the shop, we can see the passing push carts, tuk-tuks, truck taxis, motorbikes, and cars and the mish-mash of tourists and Thais taking good care of them.


On a recent visit, just about the time that Little was beginning to comprehend the meaning of wave-bye-bye, something happened which again highlighted the contrasts and odd juxtapositions of this place. He peered across the street and lifted a hand to silently wave-bye-bye to the little boy and his mum who live across the street.


I've been wanting to tell you about this little boy for some time, because his name is Gress. Well, that's actually his nickname. His full name is Progress, and he is the little brother of Gram. Oh, you're way ahead of me. Yes, short for Program. And, what to do parents do? They run a dusty, dark internet shop opposite our little latte heaven. And, Gram spends his days (long twelve-hour working days) in the arms of his mother on the sidewalk or in the shop. The names, while incomprehensible to me, represent their parents' wish to bring good luck to these little boys. The irony of this is not lost on me. Gram and Gress are growing up in a poorly lit, unventilated shop at the edge of a busy, sooty street where backpackers need to check their e-mail.

We've tried to strike up an interaction with Gress a few times, but nothing comes of it. He's the same age as Little, but a bit bleary, often recovering from a chest cold (no kidding). As he is carried most of the day, he is a bit passive (try carrying Little for more than fifteen minutes and you've got a bucking bronco in your arms). The pathos of Gress is palpable.

On the day that Little tried to engage Gress from across a busy street (I still can't believe he did it), Gress's mom saw Little waving and looked a bit stunned.

Comparisons between babies are inevitable, but comparisons between lifestyles and the opportunities they afford can be harsh. Not that I know what I'm doing raising this little boy. My biggest fear is that we're somehow hindering his natural (and fascinating) ability to learn. And, while he is as much Thai as he is American, we have decided to raise him largely in the West where he'll have much more opportunity... to progress.

It's Hot!

A perfect day for red and green Fanta popsicles. What? You've never HAD red and green Fanta popsicles! I don't believe (as my husband would say).

Marketing Genius

Now, here's a clever promotion. Buy one, and... well... get one!


Somebody laid awake at night thinking this one up, sure. (Sorry, the English major in me just can't walk on by.)

Water Room Protocol

In Thai, the word for "bathroom" is "hong naam" or "water room." If you've ever been in Asia (or any other plumbing-challenged area), you'll quickly see the meaning behind the words. It is, in fact, a water room. It's mostly wet most of the time, because you mostly throw water all around when you go in.


Our hong naam looks like this (exactly like this, in fact). Shower shoes keep your feet kind of dry and about a quarter inch above the wetness. The pot and dipper are perhaps self-explanatory. Throw water in the squat toilet and all over the room to flush and tidy up. Thai people often come out looking a little damp. Westerners often come out looking a little confused. Generally, in Thailand you'll find no toilet paper or hand towels either. I haven't yet met a Westerner who could get a straight answer out of their Thai friends on the actual water room protocol, so we'll just leave it as the great unanswered question.

Showering happens in here too, and after a shower its REALLY wet. We, being city people, have a wall-mounted shower hose and even a water heater for the upstairs hose (the only hot water in the house). Our country cousins just dip water out of the clay pot and pour it over their head. Actually, several of our neighbors still do this, because at night I can hear the splashing dippers around us. And, Amnat perfers a cold dipper rinse after his hot shower. You can take the boy out of the country...

So, when we Westerners meet with an actual sit-down, flush toilet, we are so happy. No wet feet. No teetering on the rim. But, if a Thai person has been there ahead of you, you may find footprints on the seat. Sigh.

My favorite coffee shop, Tiida Coffee, has a real flusher with the following explanatory sign.


Meaning, "Please press the flush until done," or something to that effect. And given the fragile sewer infrastructure here, one additional bit of direction is needed;


Or, "Don't put anything into the flush."

P.S. I felt the need to explain to Tiida why I was taking pictures in her bathroom, and I made her promise never to change the signs. Our coffee-drinking massage students have been getting a giggle out of it, and having a giggle is so very Thai.

National Head Cold Week

In Thailand, the week after New Year may as well be designated "National Head Cold Week." Effectively, every man, woman, child (and massage student) gets hit. We've all taken our turn, despite habitual hand washing and (hopelessly ineffective) attempts to keep perfect strangers and passersby from reaching for Little's hands.

My Thai family are convinced that dew falling on your head is the cause of all this trouble. I've tried to explain that there is no dew here, but I'm making no headway.

I was feeling quite robust having been skipped over by the National Head Cold, when I made a tactical error at dinner on Thursday. I ordered a squeeze of fresh lime for my soda water. It came to the table looking lovely, and then the cook turned away and sneezed into her hands. (Dew, my ass.)


So, while we spent last week wandering around feeling pretty much like this..., we did find an up side to the whole thing. An opportunity to increase our Thai vocabulary!

Did you know that in Thai "runny nose" is "naam mook" or "nose water"? And, what we might colloquially call "boogies" our Thai friends call "kee mook" or "nose poop." In this same vein, my mother's "sleep seeds" are "kee taa" or "eye poop," and ear wax is (you begin to see the pattern) "kee whoo" or "ear poop."

Well, having significantly elevated the level of conversation in our household of late, I'll leave you with one additional thought. In Thai, the word for "stinky" is "men." (no comment)

Come to the Table

Been a little under the weather lately, but I'm back in the blogger seat with a batch of new photos. The last couple of weeks have been just loaded with baby firsts, the most exciting of which is FOOD!



Baby Eats Food Day 1

So, the (prevailing) theory goes like this - feed Little the same thing at each meal for four days. Reason - identifying food allergies. Sort of "clearing" foods for consumption. And, begin with soft and squishy like avocado. Thus, baby's first meal (on a purpose-built plate, no less).



Mum finds the whole thing very exciting. Baby is bemused.



Paw gives it a go too. Little begs for avocado mercy.

At this juncture, Amnat opines, "I think he does not like Colorado."

To which I can only reply, "How would we know? He's never been to Colorado." (I know I shouldn't, but he just keeps handing them to me.)

Baby Eats Food Day 3



Little - HOW often do you expect me to do this?!?



Having cleared baby for Avocado Contact Dermititis, anyway, we move on.


Baby Eats Food Day 5



A whole new day. BANANA! Little actually eats. No gagging. No tearing up. No shuddering. Makes happy bubbly noises. Gums it a bit and gets it down.

PS. Day 6 at breakfast the sound of the mashing fork elicits giggles. We did it!

You Gotta Laugh, or You'd Just Cry

Today, Jimmy and I rolled back from Coffee 4 U (a favorite) with one-to-go in a bag for Amnat. So, I get home and Amnat's on a break from teaching. I say, "Coffee 4 U has some new decorations. Jimmy really liked the new wind chimes."

(blank stare)

"You know 'wind chimes'?" I say.

"No."

"You hang them in the front of your house. When the wind blows, they move and make a beautiful sound."

"Food?" he says.

So, I'm thinkin' like freakin' fettuccine flappin' in the wind?!? Some days you just gotta laugh, otherwise you'd cry.

For Two

So, today I said to my husband, "Amnat, I found some baby shoes for Jimmy at the store."

My husband says, "You bought them?"

I say, "Yes."

He says, "How much?"

I say, "159 baht."

He says, "For two?"

And, the thing is, he's not kidding.